Ok so I am a SUCKER for “Lancelot meet at spa and have no clue who eachother are” fics!
( Credit: https://i-see-london-i-see-klance.tumblr.com/post/156434764592/whumpbby-hardlynotnever-i-want-a-funnycute )
This is total crack BTW
SO LETS GOOOOOO!!
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When Lance went onto the chaotic battlefield, the last thing he was expecting was to get skin care tips from the enemy. Also learning who his enemy was, was also a surprise!
The Blue Paladin and the Galran Emperor both jumped away from falling debry, losing their helmets in the process.
“…Lotor?” Lance raised an eyebrow.
“Lance?! You are the blue paladin?” Lotor gasped, helping his friend up.
“You’re the Galran Emperors?!” Lance shouted. How was he supposed to react when he found out his Space Spa Buddy was the Leader of the Galra?!
Lotor nodded causally. “Yes, I am.”
Lance was startled by his laid-back attitude. But if Lotor wasn’t going to be shocked that Lance was his enemy, Lance proposed he could return the favor.
Before Lance could say anything, Lotor grabbed his hand and pulled him away from more dangerous debry.
“Look out!” Lotor cried, as the rocks made a crater just where Lance had been standing.
“Thanks Lotor,” Lance said.
“Lance! What are you doing?!” Shiro yelled through the coms. “Pidge says Lotor is close! Take him out!”
Lotor also seemed to have been delivered a simaler message from his team. He looked at Lance, and shrugged again. Lance also shrugged and raised his bayard.
Lance and Lotor engaged in a sword battle while dodging the collapsing envoirment. However it was rather…casual. It felt more like sparing and training. Neither even broke a sweat, not much effort being put into it on either side.
“Lance, have you been using the hair wash method I suggested?” Lotor asked.
“Oh yeah!” Lance made a lazy move for his shoulder, and Lotor blocked it. “I tried it. Due to the training schedule it doesn’t work great for me. I don’t have the time to do it as often as needed for it to make a noticeable improvement to my hair.”
“Ah, makes sense.” Lotor swung at Lance’s chest and Lance spun out of the way. “Oh! But I tried your skin care routine 5.0!”
“Awesome! How does it work for you?”
“Wonderful! Just look at me!”
“Even on the dirty battlefield you glimmer!” Lance complimented.
“Thank you!”
Eventually the battle stopped and the conversation continued. It turned into a stroll along the battlefield swinging their swords along.
“Oh, should we call off the battle or anything?” Lance asked. “I mean, I don’t wanna destroy my spa buddy.”
“HA!” Lotor laughed. “I’d like to see you try. However you are right.”
“Cool. Should we uh…tell our teams about us?”
Lotor shrugged. “We will be creating an alience soon I am sure, so it does not matter to me wether you alert your team or not.”
Lance nodded. “Ok cool, I think I’ll tell them.”
“Of course.” Lotor nodded. “I will call off my team. See you soon Lance.”
“Bye Lotor!” Lance waved.
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Lance walked back into the castle of lions. Lotor’s team retreated, and team Voltron rushed back into the castle. The rest for the team looked exhausted, seemed their battle wears obviously not as relaxed as Lance’s. Lance almost felt bad…
“Lance!” Hunk gave him a hug. “I was so worried! You took so long to get here, and you had a run in with Lotor, and—“
“Yeah, how did that go by the way?” Keith crossed his arms. “Did you kill him?”
“Oh, no.” Lance said.
“What?!” Alurra gasped. “Why?! That was our chance Lance!”
“Hey! If I kill him, he’s never gonna tell me what conditioner brand he uses!”
“…What?” Pidge deadpanned.
“I’ve been trying to get it out of him for months! But Quiznack he keeps a tight lip—“
“Lance, what are you talking about?” Shiro asked. “Why didn’t you kill Lotor?”
“I’m not gonna kill my spa buddy!” Lance said, hands on his hips. “Besides, sometimes he sends me the space version of cucumbers for cucumber water.”
“So THATS the shipment we’ve been getting every month!” Corran gasped, laughing a bit.
“Lance, are you saying the Galran Emperoer is your…friend?” Alurra asked.
“Yeah!” Lance laughed. “isnt that crazy? I was kinda shocked for a sec when I found out today.”
The room was silent.
“Hey hey Hey!” Lance said. “Don’t feel left out! He’s gonna call for an alience tommorrow. Maybe he’ll give you guys some beauty tips too!”
THE END
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