Short Story -- ꕥ Lavender ꕥ

 So I was trying to write another short story, similar to "The Dying Thoughts of a BumbleBee".

This clearly isn't as good at ALL! I actually kinda hate it. But I wanna share it despite of that, because I put a lot of effort into it. 

So please enjoy...

ꕥ Lavender ꕥ

A story of the fears of Change

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All my life I smelled of Lavender. A deep wonderful smell, elegant and peaceful. Lavender is said to represent innocence, pure of heart. That is who I am, I am Lavender. I knew lots of other Lavenders too. We were all so alike; calm, happy, and the best of friends! I remember we would always get our nails done on Saturdays. The manicurists would chat amongst each other in a language I didn’t understand while they painted me and my fellow Lavender’s nails. By the end our nails were all the same: A pretty violet color with silver sparkles. We were all so alike, calm and happy! I’d always return home, with my pretty purple nails and a warm feeling in my heart. I was so lucky to have so many Lavenders, just like me; the best of friends.

But then something changed. One of my friends began to smell different, like a syrup. My friends and I were worried, were they getting sick? They were still Lavender, they still came with us on our specials Saturdays. We still got our nails painted the same, the nail polish’s pungent scent almost making me forget about my friends ever slowly scent beginning to change. But change it did. They became a rich and creamy scent; Powerful like Lavender, in such a different way than before. They smelled like the cafe we would go to together, and all get the same iced tea. They started to smell alluring, a warmth not previously associated with the innocence of Lavender. 

They became Vanilla. Vanilla didn’t paint their nails violet like the rest of us anymore. They were now a deep monotone pink, almost red or brown. It looked lovely on them, but it wasn’t violet. It wasn’t like before. They started to order a warm tea, instead of iced like the rest of us. I didn’t understand, did they not want to be friends anymore? But Vanilla still spent time with us, just as before. They were just as calm as they had been as Lavender, maybe even more so. And yet, they became so simple. Where once they would wear beautifully elegant clothes like the rest of us they began to wear simple Solid Color shirts. Where once they held their shiny purse matching ours, now they kept everything in their pockets. It was such a simple change, and yet it unnerved me. I had no evidence of a loss of purity, and yet their scent said something was different. They were not as innocent as before, and yet I did not know what had changed. I didn’t know why anything had changed. Vanilla became our friend, despite everything that had changed. 

Why had things changed though? Was Vanilla unhappy as Lavender? Unhappy with us? I couldn’t see why, what was wrong with Lavender? My friends and I loved our elegant scent, and our purple manicures. I suppose nothing was wrong with Vanilla either. But what was so much better about it? What prompted the change? Lavender was wonderful, my friends were wonderful, I was wonderful!

Then another one of my friends began to change too. They smelled different, just as Vanilla had. I was worried; Were they sick, were they going to change too? But my friends weren’t worried like before. Instead they were asking strange and irrelevant questions. About what they were considering doing differently, considering Smelling Different. I didn’t understand. We were so concerned for Vanilla, but now they were all encouraging this change? 

My friend became Peppermint. Their scent was so cold it made me shiver. Their voice became so stern, not at all calm and pure like Lavender. They gave physical comfort much more, always greeting people with a tight hug. When before at the salon we would all sit still talking quietly with each other as our nails were polished, Peppermint would be louder. They would tell us about their day, and make humorous remarks. The manicurists would even laugh! Peppermint no longer painted their nails purple. Instead they became a bright orange, vibrant like the sun. It was nothing like their scent, contradictory. When did they become so unpredictable, so wild?! Peppermint was more restless too, could barely sit still anymore. No one else was worried that Peppermint was scared or nervous, constantly trembling. I asked Peppermint about it, in hopes maybe whatever was scaring them could be solved and they would return to Lavender. Return to normal. However they simply smiled their new sharp smile, and said they simply have lots of energy. They didn’t before. They were calm and wonderful, and now they are Energetic and Expressive. 

Things kept changing, until everything changed. My friends became Vanilla and Peppermint, Cinnamon and Roses; Citrus and Pine, Eucalyptus and Sandalwood. It made my headache, so many new scents. We were supposed to have our nails done on Saturday, and get matching violet manicures! Now everyone gets so many different colors, its a vibrant rainbow of variety. I hate it! I didn’t understand why everything was changing. I thought we were all happy as Lavender. What is driving people away from Lavender? What is making them want to have our special salon say on Sunday? What is making them want to have Juices and Smoothies instead of tea? Why has everything changed? I don’t want things to change, I want them to stay the same. If we were all happy, then why did they change? 

Why…why can’t I change with them? I’ve smelled of Lavender my whole life. I always thought it was wonderful, I always thought I was wonderful. But everyone else…they’ve become more. They’ve become more than wonderful. They’ve become Thoughtful, Energetic, Simplistic, Spiritual, Cultural, Empathetic, Humorous, Athletic….everything I can’t become. I tried. I tried to understand. I tried to change my scent. But I became frigid as Peppermint. Roses made me feel like I couldn’t move, one wrong step and I would cry. I became Sickly and dizzy as Citrus. Pine made me exhausted, I could collapse. No matter what I did, I always returned to the purple nail polish. 

I felt like a failure. I had never seen Lavender as bad, but now I couldn't see it as anything but bad. Lavender drove my friends away. Of course they’d leave Lavender behind. Its so naive, its so stuck up. Purple is so ordinary, so boring. Lavender held me back, kept me from chasing after them. They left Lavender behind. They left me behind. And try as I might, I couldn't bring myself to resent them for it. I don’t blame them for changing. I don’t blame them for going to do their nails without me. I don’t blame them for getting coffee and tea without me. I don’t belong with them anymore. They deserve someone wonderful. Not Lavender. Not me.

That’s how I felt for a while. Feeling like who I was was now bad, and helpless that I couldn’t change. Feeling like my friends didn’t want me anymore. But when you drop a dollar behind you while walking, you don’t just leave it behind. You go back for it. Because its valuable, it matters. And to my friends, I mattered. Even if I forgot that, they didn’t. What had felt like years of self hatred to me, had only been a few days. And yet it was long enough for the people I love to come to me. For them to see that I was scared and alone. 

I had become so obsessed with change, the idea of things being new, that I had forgotten something important: We weren’t just friends because we were all Lavender. We were friends because we cared about each other! Because we knew each other; what we loved, what we feared. And what we needed when we needed help. My friends knew. They will always know, because they are my friends.

But why, why are they my friends? Wasn’t I not good enough for them? Wasn’t I a Lavender, to be left behind as a distant memory of what they once were? 

No, I am not. I was not a distant memory to be left behind. I am their friend. Someone they love to study with, as I help them quietly when they are confused. I am someone they love to go shopping with, because I always find the most beautiful things to buy. I am someone who talks sweetly and calmly, as we talk about each other's days. I am someone who paints their nails a beautiful violet color, and drinks a delicious cold tea. I was Lavender. There is nothing wrong with that, and there was. 

And they weren’t Lavender. They are Vanilla, Citrus, Pine, Peppermint, and so many more. They are people I love to see movies with, because they liked so many different genres. They are people I love to eat meals with, because we all love pasta. They are people who I love to talk with because they all have so many things to say. They aren’t Lavender. There is nothing wrong with that, and there was.

All my life, I have smelled of Lavender. A deep wonderful smell, elegant and peaceful. Lavender is said to represent innocence, pure of heart. That is who I am, I am Lavender. I don’t know many other Lavenders. We aren’t alike at all, and we are the best of friends.

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Well yee theres that! I hope you all like it :))